Dream but as you do act on it…

Hey everyone, as usual I kind of slacked but you know I kind of love the slacking I do sometimes. It gives me time to view the world in a new perspective and see what I will see in that period. It refreshes my mind and realigns my thoughts. But all in all, I will always come back to writing after all it is part of my soul.

Am dreamer and those who know me can attest to that and I also hate failing at what I do. But I fail mostly because I feel insufficient to carry the dream forward. I have some very unreachable dreams, that am willing to accept, but most of them are fairly attainable but I still feel they are out of my reach. But I never stop trying because then I will fail myself.

I am a lover of dance and books and trust me, talking to myself to quit reading was one of the hardest decisions made because I felt that I was putting so much effort in it that I did not leave any for anything else. Though truthfully I was just feeling uninspired, scared and lazy. But I finally could not take it anymore, two days later I had all my eBooks with me and I realized that what you love is what drives you to be more. It inspires you.

Dance is what my reading inspires me to do. I realized that books -especially fictional books- are not what someone would say reality inducing because most of them are built on virtual characters and the stories have a fantasy in them. But for a book to be written it takes guts and courage and for words to be put in to paper is hard. Trust me, I am in that phase and you keep on second guessing every word but at the end of it all you feel the pride bubbling in you.

The pride that you finally did it and the pride only grows when someone else appreciates what you wrote because you worked on it, and hard. So if an author can be that patient and wait for months for a story to be fully developed, then why can I do the same for my dreams?

Books have so many uses and the most important one I gather is being educative and helping people develop intellectually. At the same time books are also milestones for people, some may use it for therapy I suppose- am not sure about this one but if it is not there please, I would encourage people to try it. Others just use books to pass time away but I have a new- new to me if not to other people- use and that is as an inspiration to achieve my dream.

Come on, seriously, not everyone can manage to write a 200 paged book or better yet a 30 paged one. It is a true gift to do that and its dedication too. I believe in it now.

You, reading this, can you?

PS: I know this is very raw and sorta emotional- or not- depending on you, but I felt that someone out there can relate and so here it is…

🙂 enjoy…

What is romance?

what do people consider romance once you start reading a book? is it the sexual parts that make it extremely romantic? the part where the hero and heroine of the book meet and fall in love? where the hero goes to great lengths to make his lover happy or to reconcile with her? or where the heroine tries to reconcile with her love? when a hero becomes the knight in shining armour? the happily ever after?

to me all these or just about most of them are the rising actions that lead to real romance. the small gestures that are made, the meaningless words, the weird moments, they make up the romantic factor of a book. the rest I consider a bonus freely given to spice up the romanticism.

take for instance the book ‘The Right Stud‘ by Ilsa Madden-Mills, the characters Jax and Ashton bond over the rebuilding of Ashton’s grandmother’s home into a B&B. They disagree at first due to some misunderstanding but they also have the small gestures that let each other know they are around. Jax takes up the job offered by Ashton’s brother to look for a buyer because he realizes if someone else gets the job, she will never be able to fulfil her dream. Ashton prepares food for Jax always and helps him in the rebuilding in every way. though she does not realize how much of a help she is to him, he does.

these small gestures are the same one that helps the reconcile because through them they finally got to know the real person underneath, no pretences, no lies. they also led to them being forgiving of their partner’s faults…

so romance is not all about the sex, the dates, the flirting, the showing off, but it is about the small things that seem not to matter but in the long run cement who you are…and help you learn each other in a more intimate but very open setting.

so as you read as you read a romance book enjoy the small moments the author wants you to realize are more important than the raunchy parts you crave to read. every book has its own form of romance in it, you just have to look and see…

Hope you enjoyed this post, comment your thoughts on this and i will be back with more…;)

what do people consider romance once you start reading a book? is it the sexual parts that make it extremely romantic? the part where the hero and heroine of the book meet and fall in love? where the hero goes to great lengths to make his lover happy or to reconcile with her? or where the heroine tries to reconcile with her love? when a hero becomes the knight in a shining amour? the happily ever after?

to me all these or just about most of them are the rising actions that lead to the real romance. the small gesture that are made, the meaningless words, the weird moments, they make up the romantic factor of a book. the rest i consider a bonus freely given to spice up the romanticism.

take for instance the book ‘The Right Stud‘ by Ilsa Madden-Mills, the characters Jax and Ashton bond over the rebuilding of Ashton’s grandmother’s home into a B&B. They disagree at first due to some misunderstanding but they also have the small gestures that let each other know they are around. Jax takes up the job offered by Ashton’s brother to look for a buyer because he realizes if someone else gets the job, she will never be able to fulfill her dream. Ashton prepares food for Jax always and helps him in the rebuilding in every way. though she does not realize how much of a help she is to him , he does.

these small gestures are the same one that help the reconcile because through them they finally got to know the real person underneath, no pretenses, no lies. they also led to them being forgiving of their partners faults…

treasure them

so romance is not all baout the sex, the dates, the flirting, the showing off, but it is about the small things that seem not to matter but in the long run cement who you are…and help you leran ecah other in a more intimate but very open setting.

so as you read a s you read a romance book enjoy the small moments the author wants you to realize are more important than the raunchy parts you crave to read. every book has its own form of romance in it, you just have to look and see…

Hope you enjoyed this post, comment your thoughts on this and i will be back with more…;)

Writing comes from the heart and that’s is where you have to begin at…no where else…

So today its all about the emotional stuff people avoid at most time, because I learned that opening up in some situations makes it easier to be true to oneself and when writing a piece of you is left in your words and one can tell how much the words meant to you as you wrote them down.

I have always been a writer at heart and everyone kind of recognized that so I never had any problems with that. I started reading and writing at a young age and I thought because of that I ought to be amazing at it. I had too many drafts of novels I wanted to publish when I was in primary school. back them I was felt too talented for my own good.

the sad fact about all that is that no one tells you that you must work harder to become better and no matter how good you are you must improve. and also perfection is not supposed to be any one’s goal but instead one has to strive to be the best version of himself or herself they can be. I just went in blindly and that is where I started falling down into an abyss of a huge writer’s block.

the fact that my work was not that good anymore triggered so many insecurities and I stopped for a while. the writing has always been a part of me that I use as an anchor and when I stopped I felt the aftermath. it was not that harsh at first but soon I lost myself. the writing was an outlet to all the emotions I felt and not doing that made me close up. I did not know how else to release these emotions. I still do not know till date but its getting better. 🙂

I have always quit when I feel inadequate in something, and yes that is what made me realize something has to change. I started this blog to prove to myself that I could write messy, unreasonable, un-understandable, unstructured stories and still make some sense to myself and anyone who reads it. I started the blog to learn how to be me again or to remember how it felt to let people in and truthfully it is working wonders…

so in everything you do, be messy, be unstructured until you find the right you, the one that fits into what you really want to be but never the perfect you. because perfection never exists and it’s only an illusion that will just make you very disappointed. I learned that the hard way and I still do and am grateful I realized all this early enough.

let your life be your guide to all you want to write.

let what you love to be your outlet and never the thing that stiffens you up. let it be the thing that makes you carefree and crazy enough to take on the world no matter the circumstances that you face.

romance is not overrated as long as you do not make it your new reality… instead weave your own fairy tale but with a dosage of your reality. dreams are valid!

so here i am back again with another wonderful gutspillage only this time its all mushy and starry eyed. i am sure that  every girl- correction very girl in love with books esp the romance kind- will believe me when i saw a book has the ability to make the worst situation okay if not better. esp ifyou fall in love with the characters. itslike watching a movie ,only that it is inside your head.

ps: i have never written anything that has rejected me as much as this first paragraphs! five attempts? okay maybe four but seroiusly that is too much…. 😦 frustrated but… still ecstatic after the book am about to talk about. it has left me in a high no one can bring me down from. no one!

so am going to venture on the wonderful side of fairy tales and  the world where every girl has a chance of meating a real life prince charming or better yet a knight in shining armour.

 

this book paints this lovely picture of there being  perfect guy in the world waiting for you and all you have to do is take a leap andchance on it.  lets face it every girl dreams of a happily ever after and dreams that it will be with this perfect guy who does all hecan to make life as smooth for you as possible.

well this book kind of painted that amazing picture for me. i beleive in my own version of fairy tale that has a dose ofreality in it. some people tell me maybe i set too high a standard for my self but no i just beleive in myself and what i deserve. the heroine in this book believes that too and does not settle for any less than that.

she also knows when to let problems go and when to not get consumed in them no matter how much they hurt becasue she rationalizes. overall i just admire how she just goes for what she wants and does not wait for it to get dished out to her on a siver platter.

believe me if we could all be this straight-forward, wouldnt our live be much easier …not perfect just easier.

so till next book’s thoughts…see ya! i have to study for my exam. 😉

 

some boys…a book that resonates with my soul

when i first started this blog  i was not sure that i would keep it up. i havent for some time but it did help. i wanted to resurface my dream of writing. and i did. laziness and uncommitment is a big issue on my part but oh well i try to change. writing is theurepatic for me and i have come back becasue i have an itch. and i am compelled to scratch it. haha…

so i read alot of books, am sorta kinda like a novel guru and my phone currently has about over a hundred books. and i have been reading a certain book that has pushed me to kind of resurface my blog and do a review of some sort. but in this review i will be doing, i will be pouring my guts out about books i have read, critique a bit and give the lesson i have leraned from the book.

this will not be as consistent as i would like it to be because i will mainly be doing all this after i have read a book that i feel people need to read too…..

Sooooo….for tonight, the book i very much want to talk about is Some Boys by Patty Blount.

so this book is basically about a girl who is raped by one of the most famous jocks in her high school but no one believes her as she was kind of drunk an everyone seems to have made up a story about what really happens. she losses her friends and feels like theworld is against her and fighting her from all directions. she has to armour herself daily to make it thru, but…

see that is not what makes me like this girl, but her strength and courage and the fact she does not cower to those people in her school. no matter the attacks she gets from everyone including her teachers and the fact that her parents think that she should hide as if it was her fault, she doesnt. instead she fights and doesnt wait for anyone to do that for her. she registers that no matter what happened to her, life must go on and she will not show the enemies she is weak or broken even if she really is.

which brings me to my next point; how many girls suffer this kind of torment daily? with no one to turn to? fighting all on their own? those girls are true warriors and despite what happned to them they know that they are made by so much more than that one very cruel incident. and they move past it, some with help and some with sheer bravery.

i know that books are meant for entertainment but no book lacks a moral lesson. you just have to look hard enough.

so yea that is it for tonight but i will be back with more 🙂

The chaotic mind

I know that i promised to continue the book that i had been writing in my previous post but i felt that this is too important and i wanted to share it.

Have you ever had too many ideas in your mind it was almost too impossible to contain them? Well i have and trust me it is as amazing as it sounds. Yes, the ideas do tend to be wonderful but how to express them is the tricky part of ut all. No one is in your mind to help you out, you have to sorely figure that out on your own. And sometimes, it gets too tiring because you find yourself over working your mind.

I for example get my ideas in so many crazy was you would not begin to imagine, like i do take my dreams as ideas for the stories i tend to write. For example, last night i had a dream and well of course i do not remember some snippets of the dream,but i do remember the flow. And when i woke up i had another idea. I had a massive head ache due to the many thoughts i was trying to sort out in my head. So i i took a pen and my wonderful book of ideas, sat down and wrote what was in my mind and cleared it. And surprisingly it worked. I have been doing this for a long time…when am bored i write small bits of the ideas that come to my head, when am sad i do the same and when i need to think clearly i do that too. But not all ideas turn out to be great…do not expect that from yourself. Some may even be so aweful that you would not even want to read them again but some tend to be so amazing that you may write an enchanting book from them and people come to love them.

So do not close your ideas in your mind. Let your imagination run wild…let it loose from those confinements of your stiff beliefs of not being good enough to produce something amazing. You never know you may surprise yourself. If you are a dreamer like me, please go ahead and dream and do not let go if those dreams, but if you so not remember them that is okay another wonderful dream is around the corner, after all you get to dream every night.

I will never let go, because it is who i am and it defines me and no matter how many times i fail…i will try again because that is how one gets it right finally. By trying until you achieve the perfection you are aiming for.

Patience is also one thing that you should learn to practice. Do not rush your mind to get ideas. They come on their own and words for themself in your head. If you force an idea and overthink it, it may not give you what you want. And this may frustrate you or make you loose the confidence you have in yourself. If the idea gets stuck in the middle or you are unable to finish it…play with the other ideas in your head. Who knows maybe the idea will bloom again and it will be much better than how it would have turned out before. So dont let go…your mind is like your own personal novel if you want it to be.

 

a little into my mind, hope my dear readers you do not mind

Today I am going to write small piece of my many stories that clog my mind and hope that you will enjoy this as much as I am enjoying writing it.

The bell rang and the kids walked out of the class noisily. Andrea looked at them and smiled then went back to grading their exams. She was happy doing just that. The kids were a great source of joy to her and she would never trade that for anything else. Her phone rang rousing her from her thoughts. She looked at the screen to see who it was and groaned loudly. It was her dear meddling mother who never quit to make her feel awful.  

“Hello mother what do I owe this very unpleasant surprise?” she asked.

“My dear do not sound so crude!” Her mother retorted as soon as she heard Andrea talking. “Do you remember the dinner that we host annually? To celebrate our family and friends? Please be early and wear something decent. And oh please do not embarrass me like you did last time. And do not forget to go to the spar, last time your skin was so dreadful and make you hair presentable….”

Andrea hang up cutting her mother’s speech short, rubbing her temples due to the pain that was beginning to manifest. There was nothing worse than talking to her dear mother. She always found a way to sour her day and make it so dreadful. She looked at the papers she had been grading and huffed in frustration. She put them into her briefcase and then arranged the rest of her things. She was done with all her classes for the day so she could go home.

As soon as she got into her one bedroomed closet apartment she went straight to the refrigerator and took out her big bowl of ice cream. She needed the strength she seemed to derive from that guilty pleasure of hers. She sighed in pleasure after taking the first spoonful of the ice cream then went back to grading her student’s papers.

She looked at her closet and shook her head in wonder. She did not own any decent dress anymore. All the ones she had were old and she could not possibly go with the same dress she had the previous year, her mother would have a coronary.  She called her best friend Natalia to help her find a dress for the stupid dinner party she had to attend.

“Why do you always go if you hate your family so much?” Natalia asked as they perused the dresses in the store they had come to shop in.

“I do not hate everyone or anyone as a matter of fact I just dislike my dear mother and her precious daughter, Delia, that’s all.” Andrea answered shrugging..

Natalia looked at her with the look that said ‘yeah right’. But she wisely decided to stop talking about that particular subject. Natalia tried to get Andrea to go to the spa but that did not happened but at least she went to the salon. That was progress according to Natalia.

That evening Andrea looked at herself and grudgingly admitted that she looked better than she had ever looked before. She was in a floor length silver dress that clung to her body like a second skin and had a sweetheart neckline and long sleeves. The dress brought out her features and made them look exotic- her silver eyes and her ash blonde hair. She hated make up but she had allowed Natalia to apply a little on her. She hoped her mother would appreciate the effort she had made not bother her at all the whole evening.

The dinner was as grand as always. Her mother did not want to term it as a party but due to all the people she invited it was the correct rem but she would never tell her that.

“ANDREA! Oh my you look lovely!” her grandmother exclaimed loudly attracting too much attention.

She smiled at her grandmother and walked to her and gave her a huge hug. Her grandmother smiled and then wheeled away to talk to the other guests. Andrea sensed someone looking at her from behind. She looked and saw her mother and her sister glaring at her.

“You look good Andrea,” Delia said with a fake smile directed to her.

“Thank you Delia, mother please excuse me I have to go and mingle with the other guests,” Andrea told her mother and sister and walked away to avoid a scene.

They glared at her till she vanished into the crowd of guest who were invited. She was not sure why they were mad at her but she did not care at all. As she was talking to Mr. James, one of her father’s friends she saw him and her heart stopped. ‘What was he doing here?’ she asked herself unable to look away. Then she saw why and managed to finally look away but not before seeing his expression as he saw her. Andrea was not sure how the night would progress but she was beginning to dread it even more.

    To be continued…

if you enjoyed this please be sure to let me know and i promise to continue this next time

 

The art of reading a book… a journey worth taking

Starting a book is easy finishing well that needs a little more attention and patience. One has to be committed to reading that book- but do not let that stop you from doing all that you are supposed to. Do nor prioritize the book. Let it be a gradual finish, give yourself time to speculate and wonder. Give yourself time to imagine. Similarly to how we wait for a series to proceed to its next season and while we are waiting we create many scenarios of what maybe.

Find time to read, no one is going to pressure you to finish that book. Finish it at you own pace be it in five years, months, days or even weeks. It will end eventually. Do not get sucked into the book, trust me you miss out on many thing that may have made the reading experience better. I remember when I was in primary I used to read book in a span of about four to twelves if the book was a large volume and funnily I never remembered any character’s name only the story line of the book. Now when I take my time and read a book slowly and not only do I remember what happened who did what but also I got to learn a lot from these books.

If you have issues with finishing a novel, start small. Take baby steps after all when beginning something the start always matters. I, for starters started reading at a particularly young age. My dad bought me these nice story books, I don’t know if you have heard of them…, the Bibi Bero collection. For example the prince with six toes and other stories and the gift of God and other stories. I started with those, build up my interest in them.

Then after those I started reading the primary level books, first started off with the picture baring ones then evolved to those with no pictures. These were a bit challenging to read at first because it was just a lake of word and words that were never ending in each page but when you finally boost your imagination it works. You just have to create a movie in your head using the words your reading to make the reading even more interesting and it works.

For example the book above is an interesting example. It has many short stories that are pictured and are intriguing as well as they tell you what the book is going to be about. For example, the first story, when the sun goes down, is a moving love story that shows unity between two people even though they are faced with too many challenges and everyone deserts them.

Do not rush the process, begin slowly and also progress slowly, it takes time. Just like learning ABC to a child takes time. But all in all, do not lose the interest to read. If you do that you are going to be able to read and enjoy books of any size and volume in no time and trust me it is an experience worth being patient for.

 

the euphoria one experiences when reading

i do not know about others but personally there is nothing greater than the feeling one gets when you begin a new book. it is like an adventure you are about to embark on and you want nothing to hinder that. you just want to know what happens next at each page and you also try to build different scenarios in your mind about the book wondering how it would have turned out.

for many you usually pick your favourite character who you claim was a love at first read for you. well that is always the part i crave when i start any novel, whichever genre it will be. i have over 200 books in my phone and it is a joy to anticipate reading each one of them and also getting more.

currently am reading a romance novel, Crazy girl by B. N. Toler, and i have this amazing love, Wren. he is the typical broody types of guys who are so afraid of commitments and keep too many secrets due to their past experiences. am eager to unravel him as the novel progresses and see who he will become at the end of the whole experience with the crazy girl.

the happiness that comes from reading novels is one many should look forward to. if you do not it is always not too late to start. as time goes on i will let in a few secrets on how to be patient when reading a book and how to keep the interest in the book ignited so that you can reach the end. finishing a book is usually an achievement especially one that is big in volume.

i really look forward to sharing my ideas ans getting others in return for the success of the experience that i am beginning today.

 

First blog post

This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.